It's spring again, which means lots of showers. Showers every morning and showers every afternoon, and a few in between. The rain feels endless but I'm thankful the cold has departed. Gone are the extra blankets, they've been replaced by a fan and a wide-open window. I'm seeing less winter coats and more bare bellies as Chinese men walk around with their shirts half up, exhibiting their well-fed middle.
It's been a long year; a good year in many ways, but long nonetheless. I've had dry spells where I felt entirely empty. Though there's been encouragement from wonderful people that helped me along the way. The winter is the hardest to get through. It feels like I've been in China forever, without end in sight during the winter. The months stretch before me as far as I can see.
Suddenly I'm nearing the end of my time. I feel like I'm about to cross the finish line and I don't remember running the middle of the marathon. Surely there's been a mistake. I've only run the first 5 or 6 miles.
During this year I've been plagued by doubts—doubts about why I'm here, and what I really trust in. I've questioned the reason I'm in China. I've doubted the sanitation of street food, and the reason for the existence of the world, and everything in between. At times it was terrifying.
As I type, I feel my doubts fade away like the cold weather. Sure, they'll return, but I'll have the memory of the warmth of summer to keep them at bay. You see, tonight two girls made the biggest decision of their lives. The confessed that they know one who is powerful and they trust him to take away all their past mistakes. They demonstrated that trust by being washed clean in the waters of sacrifice.
It was the spark I needed to rekindle the fire in my soul. The ember was barely glowing but a fresh wind has it warmly blazing once more.
The echoes of our celebration song are still playing in my head. "Though none go with me, still I will follow…"
1 comment:
aw, I miss Chinese man-bellies.
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