Wednesday, February 25, 2009

离开不离开

I came to the sudden realization today that my time in China is slipping away far too rapidly. By that I do not at all intend to imply that I don't miss any of you wonderful people or that I plan to live here forever but I feel like I'm just getting started. My work isn't close to finished. It's taken far too long for me to figure out what I'm doing and adjust to a life vastly different from anything I've known before.

The decision about a second year looms threateningly over my every thought and I'm no nearer to a conclusion than I was on that first fear-filled day. I tried making a pros/cons list but it's hard to know how to weight each item. For example the ability to buy coffee can in no way compensate for the feeling that I'm doing something of eternal significance. The fact that I'll be paying my student loans off for the next nine years seems infinitely trivial next to a person reading the good news for the first time in their life.

In honor of my flip-flopping any politician would envy, I'd like to survey the readers of this blog. Please submit your opinion for consideration.


"Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in a lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope."
-Reinhold Niebuhr

雨今天

At the first few rumbles that ripped across the sky I didn't bother to look out the window. I'm so used to the never-ending fireworks that the prospect of thunder seemed about as likely as a clear blue sky. For the first time in 6 months I am watching the awesome power of a storm. Lightening stretches across the sky in streaks that seem to reach from another world. It might be hard to believe but one of the things I miss about Oklahoma (yes there are some things) is the thunderstorms. It rains at least 50% of the time in China but until tonight I had not seen lightening or heard thunder. It's been more of a constant depressing drizzle that hides the sun and chills the bones. The wimpy little rain drops can barely even be felt. Tonight's thunder doesn't rival an Oklahoma storm but it's attempt is enough to satisfy me. For a few moments the entire campus gets illuminated in an eery glow. I thought for a second that my power had gone out again, but to my relief it's just the switch in my living room has had enough of my constant handling, so Christmas lights provide the only relief from my view of the brief flashes outside. It's too dark to know if the sky is turning greenish but I have a feeling the excitement of tornado season is going to bypass me completely this year. A storm's might is a vivid reminder of the awe the heavens hold. I'm going to sit back and enjoy the fury until it has spent all of its energy.


How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
-The Great Bob Dylan

Friday, February 20, 2009

我是外国语学院的老师

I loved my students last semester and I really miss teaching several of them.

But this semester, I walked into a roomful of smiling English-majors with their books out on their desks, reading the first chapter in preparation (I didn't have the heart to tell them that the book stinks and I'm not really using it). When I asked a question, I got an answer! When we played a game, people talked! It's only been one week but so far I haven't had anyone talking on the phone in class, I have only had to take away one cell phone for sending text messages. At the very least they are better at hiding it, which is fine by me. They love English and want to learn it. I wish every teacher could experience life so good!

To top it off, everyone is back on campus after a month's hiatus. Everywhere I go I see old friends reuniting, I get calls and messages from my friends saying they want to see me. The coffee shop is once again a haven for me to retreat to after a long day. I was elated to walk in and be greeted like an old friend by some of my favorite people in YiChang. Even the weather seemed to smile on us yesterday, hinting that spring is indeed approaching. Opportunities abound to make an impact on young minds, and I hope I take advantage of every one.

I didn't make any New Years Resolutions, I never have, but now I feel like setting forth some goals for this new semester. A new year calls for a new Katie.
1. Be a better teacher. It's vague but also somewhat inevitable. Since last semester was my first time ever to teach, I have a feeling I can't help but improve. However I have several ideas to help that happen.
2. Be more purposeful.
3. Talk to the One in control more often. Stop trying to do things alone.
4. Learn to play a few songs on the guitar that graces my living room, instead of using it as decoration.

Sorry for the eclectic post this morning, just some things on my mind today.


“Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself.”
-Leo Tolstoy

Thursday, February 19, 2009

长途汽车站

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up singing Bon Jovi.

Sometimes I get so used to the ridiculosity* of things that I forget that they might seem strange to you normal folks.

Friday the 13th really lived up to its reputation last week. I got up early in anticipation of journeying home so that I would be able to do laundry, unpack, and plan my lessons before classes began on Monday. After dallying around the breakfast table for what I thought would be the last time with my friends in Enshi, we regretfully forced ourselves to head in the direction of the bus station. As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk I remembered that I needed to go to the ATM before I could buy a bus ticket. Luckily there is one for my bank just down the street from the bus station. I went inside to discover that the machine was off, (not an uncommon event in China) so I trekked down the street, over the walking bridge, and around the corner to my bank, with poor Nate and Jes following me.

ATM number 2: insert card. View choices. Wrinkle brow in confusion. I had the option to deposit money, transfer money to another account, or check my balance. I was not; however, given the choice to withdraw my money, which I so desperately needed to do. I glanced over at Nate and Jess and shrugged apologetically for making them walk all over town and wait for ages while I tried to get money. There was another ATM next to the malfunctioning one so I waited in line behind the lady who was withdrawing thousand...after thousand...after thousand. After what seemed like ages I finally got the machine to myself. So I put my card in with my fingers crossed. It accepted it! There was a button for withdrawing money! I pushed the 500元 button. The machine froze. I tapped my foot, scratched my head, and counted minutes. When my hair had started turning grey, it finally came awake again and rudely spit my card back at me. Stupidly, I jammed it right back in and tried again. Bad idea. When it finally came alive the second time I took my card before it was lost to me forever, and went inside to torture the man at the desk with my poor Chinese in the hopes that he would be able decipher my money needs. Somehow he guessed what I was trying to say and gave me 1,000 without asking how much I wanted. I decided that was just fine as long as I could buy a bus ticket. Upon examining my receipt, I wished I could go ask him some more questions though, like why I was charged 10 kuai for withdrawing money at my own bank, and why I hadn't gotten paid yet, 3 days after pay day. Unfortunately that would be hard to charade. So I headed for the bus station instead deciding the questions could wait for another day.

The nearer we got to the bus station, the more worried we were. There was no usual line of honking buses pulling in and out. In fact when we walked past the parking lot there wasn't a single bus or person in it. That is not a good sign, I thought to myself. We walked inside and to our chagrin discovered the same was true in the waiting area. Other than the two ladies behind the ticket counter, it was the definition of a ghost town. I walked up to the counter and the lady (somewhat mockingly it seemed) asked me where I wanted to go. "YiChang...?" Was my answer that came out sounding more like a question. She grinned maliciously and said, "Meiyou" [which means 'we don't have any']. "What?!" I exclaimed. She proceeded to gleefully tell me that there were no tickets to YiChang either that day, or the next. I asked why and with her ever-widening smile she explained that they were sold out, not only at this bus station but the other two Enshi stations as well, dashing my hopes of getting home in time to prepare for classes in one fell swoop. I knew that a lot of people traveled during the Spring Festival, but there are buses going between our cities regularly, sometimes hourly. I was flabbergasted. Which is a great word incidentally.

We decided to try the bigger bus station anyway, just in case. Fighting our way through travelers trying to "jump the queue" (is that how you spell that strange word?), and swimming through cigarette smoke we made it to the front of the line after initiating a yelling match between the guard and the gentelman who thought he could cut in front of us. And that is when I decided that there is no way to say "meiyou" without sounding mocking. How can that word be so smug? Well the point is there really were no bus tickets for the next two days, and it would cost over 500 yuan to fly. So I extended my vacation by a few days, which I would have thoroughly enjoyed had it not been for the fact that the impending first day of class weighed heavy on my consciousness. I called Elizabeth and bribed her into picking up my schedule for me, getting it translated, and taking notes for me at the meeting I had to miss (oh darn!). After a grueling 9-hour bus ride with a numb bum and black lungs I arrived in time to plan a sketchy lesson and fall into bed. If you think I'm exaggerating about the black lungs, I dare you to ride that bus and blow your nose. If you see any color besides black I'll give you my next paycheck. It turned out to be a rather pleasant trip relatively. Only two strangers tried to initiate a conversation with me, and I only saw one dog carcass on a meat rack. Things are looking up for sure.

Honestly, it's things like that that make life fun. I know all of you who sit in a cubicle from 8-5 every day are jealous, as you should be. More to come on my lovely classes this week, I think that's enough nonsense for one post.

*I plagarized this word from Amy Pratt. Many thanks. It's really the only proper description.


"Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth."
-Gandhi again

Sunday, February 15, 2009

恩施大峡谷

I had my world strapped against my back and I set off in pursuit of that elusive rascal, adventure. In a country brimming with misty mountains and rugged cliffs, there are quite a few spots famed for their beauty. Enshi's "Big Gorge Valley" may be robbed of its prominence by the countless other majestic scenes splashed around Hubei Province and the surrounding country, but it loses none of its splendor to competition.
Precipitous abysses line trails that even Indiana Jones would shudder at. Clouds hover around the base of cliff faces that pierce the sky with their jaggedness.

See that tiny little line at the top? That's the trail we took...




As I sat for a few hours and contemplated the majesty of the rock fingers reaching for heaven it struck me that those cliffs were fulfilling their purpose both figuratively and literally. They point to the one who made them with all their might, while the utter beauty of those shrines also captivates your soul and makes it yearn for the one who created such grandeur. I wondered, am I doing the same? These simple rocks silently light the way to all that is good. Is my life as clear a beacon?


I was a little envious of Jacob's comfortable rock pillow the night he dreamt of a Stairway to Heaven. I'm pretty sure he got more sleep than me. Tired and sore as I was, it was a camping trip to remember. What can be better than friends around a campfire roasting marshmallows, singing praises, and losing yourself in the shadows from the starlight (softer than a lullabye)?

Singing to myself were the whole realm of nature mine, that were a present far too small, I tried to grasp a present larger or more desireable.





















"Love so amazing, so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all"

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

我们到了东

I've previously described my distaste for planning too much before traveling...and here's why.

You just might accidentally stumble upon one of the seven wonders of the midieval world and not even know it! Some of my favorite sights during the course of our travels were things we found accidentally, and I didn't even know the 南京陶塔 (Porcelain Tower) was famous until after we got home.


"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest."
Mohandas Gandhi