Sunday, September 12, 2010

我讨厌这个问题

Everyone asks The Question, but in an expectant way.  Like they know what your answer is going to be before you give it.
They don't really know.

It's finding yourself in the middle of the grocery store staring at 1400 different kinds of Earl Grey tea feeling like you've just won the lottery and then somebody called you to tell you that your great uncle's wife also left you a fortune.  All you can think about is the irony of wanting just one tiny thing for so long and suddenly having more than you could ever need.

It's being captured by the kind of sunset that makes you pull over to the side of the road, roll your window down, and gape.  You decide to quit your job and paint so you'll never again forget that the sky can have color.

It's pushing a button to clean your dishes instead of bending over the abnormally short sink for what seemed like half your day.

It's feeling like you're on the outside of an inside joke.  Everyone gets it but you.

It's the sheer bliss of eating Mexican food whenever you want.

It's talking to somebody you've known your entire life and realizing they don't really know you at all.

It's feeling like a stranger when you are surrounded by old friends.  You aren't sure if you're one of them or an alien.

It's knowing that the people you love still love you no matter how much you've changed.

It's a Friday night in a coffee shop, that doesn't feel complete without people around you speaking Chinese.

It's a jumble of feelings fighting for priority inside you, and not knowing which one is real.

It's cursing every time you have to fill up your gas tank, because you no longer have the option of putting a coin in a slot and taking the bus downtown.

It's the welcome truth that people are people no matter where you go.  Some are sweet, some are annoying.  Some smell bad and some always know how to make you smile.  That doesn't change when you leave the hemisphere you grew up in.

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.
-Lin Yutang

5 comments:

babyblueeyed girl said...

love the post
i hope over time the adjustment gets better
i know you changed i can see it and i know it makes you a better person and i love you
the way you are and greatful for you :)

Chuck Doswell said...

I really enjoy your blogs!! A very well-done personal perspective and having lived overseas for an extended period, I can relate to most of it. Travel surely lets us know that we humans are, at the core, all the same - with much in common. Our cultural differences are not threatening, but make traveling fascinating. You chose to immerse yourself in China, not eat at McDonald's and live in a touristy western-style place. Good on you!!

Sammie said...

Good on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Even though 你讨厌这个问题,我觉得你回答得很好,而且听起来大部分你的回答就是好的东西。

J. Cus said...

whoa! blog commenting is working today?! anywho-- beautiful post. praying for you, Lady.