不要吃！

Dear Past Katie,

That chicken you're about to eat… DON'T DO IT!  It will keep you up all night and miserable most of the next day.  I know you don't believe me—what do I know?  I'm just a figment of your imagination.  But I'm trying to bend the rules of time to save you from lots of pain.

The beaches here in Goa are calling out to you, just begging for you to plant yourself in their sand and send down roots.  You'll be cutting down your potential relaxation time significantly if you put that fork in your mouth.  Spit it right out.

I'm telling you.  I've seen the sun rays torturing you while you lay in bed groaning.  You'll wish you could go back in time and undo this dinner so that you would feel well enough to go outside where the waves are.  You won't want to be confined to your room when you could be on the beach!  You'll be forced to watch a televangelist from Texas and Hannah Montana if you don't do what I say.  You know this chicken is not worth putting up with that.

Is the threat of Hannah Montana not enough?  Stop eating!  On top of that, you've finished your book and can't start on Shantaram until Jessica finishes it.  So you'll be bored out of your mind.  I told you you should have packed more than three books on this trip.  Who needs clothes to change into when you could have reading material instead?

Why is the fork still inching towards your mouth?  Your three days in Goa are rapidly dwindling; now's your chance to make them count.  Picture yourself on that beautiful stretch of sand, surrounded by locals trying to sell you jewelry, with the waves providing a continuous backdrop of serenity.  Go hungry for tonight and make up for it at the Bob Marley shack tomorrow.  They've got fish and chips—you won't regret skipping this dinner.

Well it's too late now, you've gone and ruined your trip.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  At least try to learn from this mistake and don't let it happen again.

Oh, and P.S.  …Buy some sunscreen.

"Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward."
-Søren Kierkegaard