我的午饭不是鸡胸肉

In an ideal world, after living in a place for a year and a half I wouldn't experience culture shock anymore.

But then again in an ideal world Jim Halpert would have asked me to marry him a long time ago, and I'd sing like Norah Jones.  Unfortunately none of those things are true, and the culture seems to be shocking me more than usual this week as Christmas approaches.  There's an abundance of other emotions which could be contributing to my lack of patience, but regardless I'm finding it more difficult to retain my usual degree of joyfulness.

Today I went to the knock-off KFC across the street from our favorite grocery store, hoping to find some peace of mind in a big hunk of chicken.  I've been there once before, in fact it's the very restaurant which provided our succulent Thanksgiving chicken.  I located the characters which supposedly represent "chicken breast" on the menu, and ordered one while bragging inwardly about being able to read two words in Chinese.  I was beaming with pride as I sat at the table and waited for my coming victory bird.  As the employee advanced toward me armed with a flat piece of meat that was about ½ a centimeter thick and broader than my head, my pride morphed into astonishment and a few other indescribable feelings.  I'm still quite bamboozled about what I actually ended up eating.  It had the look and texture of chicken, but smelled like fish and had a strange fishy chicken flavour.  At first I thought such an event would worsen my culture shock and reduce me to tears but in fact it had the opposite effect.  I was so flabbergasted with by my mystery meat that I just kept repeating, only in China in between giggles.  When I go back to the U.S. I'll get exactly what I order most of the time.  What's there to laugh about then?

 

"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive."

沃尔玛

宜昌市有一个沃尔玛!

When people look back at the 21st century at all the great achievements, it may look something like this:

On October 23, 2001 Apple Computers publicly announced their portable music digital player the iPod.
In 2003 scientists announced the Completion of the Human Genome Project.
In 2005 Youtube was invented.
On December 1, 2009 Walmart opened in Yichang, China.

Some people might consider it a tragedy that conglomerates spread their tentacles to every edge of the globe, and in theory I'd be inclined to agree.  However, holding an opinion about an abstract idea and finding that idea take shape in real life can be hard to reconcile.  It was impossible not to be ecstatic when we discovered treasures like aluminum foil, ziploc bags, Christmas wrapping paper (last year we used hearts and other less festive designs), pizza, candles, paper towels and many other jewels.  Walmart (沃尔玛) in China is by no means synonymous with Walmart in America.  It retains its very Chinese feel, but does house items no one else in China seems to have.

Even the music seemed like an attempt to integrate the two countries.  They were playing English songs, but kept the widespread Chinese custom of being stuck in the 90s, reminding us of greats like "I Believe I Can Fly", "All My Life", "End of the Road", and many other songs I'd forgotten ever existed.  I sang along to "No Woman No Cry" as I surveyed the shark on ice right next to the pizza and fought through the crowds to the tune of "Back at One" by Brian McKnight.  Eventually I got tired of elbowing my way through masses of people and made my way to the check out, but you can be sure I'll be frequenting Walmart many more times in the coming months.  And thanking the stars daily for some corporations brave enough to spread all over the world.

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
- Charles Kingsley